Zerin turns 8!!!

Disclaimer: This may sound like a bragging session, so sorry.


My oldest is 8....wow. I just had this little guy, didn't I?! I can't say enough about how much I love this young man. He is a wealth of constant knowledge (just ask him ;) ). He reads constantly, and unlike me, actually retains most of what he reads...just like his Dad :) He is such an AMAZING big brother---I've never seen such tenderness from a boy his age. He has a lot of courage...things that still scare me don't even phase him (like asking his non-LDS friends to church and to read the Book of Mormon, etc.). He has a lot of friends wherever he goes...I was quite socially-hampered as a child, and Bryan was extremely shy, so his socialness makes me so happy. He throws himself heart mind and soul into whatever he is interested in. Right now, it's baseball :) But probably my favorite thing about Zerin is how much he loves the scriptures. He loves the stories, and family scripture study. This year has been the first year he has really started enjoying his own personal study. I love how he doesn't just regurgitate the stories, but seems to understand the basic doctrines behind them...again, I know it sounds like I'm bragging, but I know this is just how he came and has absolutely nothing to do with me.

The bottom line? I feel so incredibly blessed (and oft times fairly inadequate) to be his mom. As my mom-in-law has said many, many times, these are the "noble and great ones."

I love you Zerin Maxwell!!!

The Dryer...

Tonight, I was making dinner, when all of the sudden, I heard the dryer turn on and off unexpectedly. Since Bryan wasn't home yet, I ran down stairs to check it out. As I was turning the corner to where the washer and dryer are, the dryer turned on again, I heard a loud 'Thump! Thump! Thump!' followed by a cry and a 'Let me out!' I then saw two very guilty looking older children standing in front of the dryer which was once again off (all this happened within about 5 seconds). I screamed, opened the dryer only to have Aeden topple out, a little dazed from being turned upside down in the dryer, but other than that, okay.

I loudly sent Zerin and Liah to their rooms, asking the all-important question of 'WHY????' as they ran past me. Something about an adventure, a dark cave/time machine, blah blah blah. When I grilled Zerin if it was such a great idea, why didn't HE get in the dryer, he remoursefully responded, "I was going to as soon as I made sure Aeden didn't get hurt." The world of science would be proud of his forethought. His mother, on the otherhand, was a bit mortified. Since when are little brothers expendable lab rats???

No one got hurt, thankfully...no one including Zerin and Liah who came within a few second thoughts of a good maiming courtesy of a very freaked out mom. When I had calmed down and I asked Zerin how in the world he could have thought that would have been a good idea, his response was no one had ever told him in his whole life that that wouldn't be okay to put his brother in the dryer. So, note to self and other mothers: Never assume that your children understand the importance of not placing themselves or their siblings into appliances.

So THIS Is What He Does All Day...

My husband is a HUGE tease. 'Huge' probably doesn't cover it, but yes, he is a huge tease. Five times a week for 9 hours a day, I get a reprieve aka. work. This is what he did during yesterday's reprieve. One of the ladies at Bryan's school decided to fight back after what I am sure was hours of torture, so Bryan sent her this note from his principal. All I can say, ladies, is that you are in my prayers ;)

Random...

Here are some random pleasures for your viewing pleasure, and some random thoughts, for, well, my therapy ;)


I am trying to force myself to write my brother's letter for his parole hearing. I really don't want to do it, so I'm blogging.


Tuesday my sister came to spend the night. We had so much fun doing, well, nothing. I feel guilty for how boring we've become when people come over, but we are who we are I suppose. She is the epitome of a pure-hearted soul. My kids adore her, and someday, I hope to grow up to be just like her.


Yesterday, I spent the better part of my day making a shopping list. In my mind, if I got all of my shopping done in one big swoop, I will spend a lot less in subsequent shopping trips. I nearly had coronary failure, however, spending that much of our food budget in one stop.


Bryan also had a meeting where the district he works for hinted strongly that there wouldn't be any principal openings this year. Yeah, I hate money.


Last night, I had a really weird, random bad dream. It wasn't really about anything, but I woke up just feeling blah, do you ever have those?


I have been trying since November to make an appointment for Bryan to see a Neurologist up at the U. Somehow, someone, in all of their holiday mayhem, forgot to do something for about 4 weeks, so I am still waiting to make the appointment. I don't know why I'm anxious, it's only a 2 MONTH waiting list to get in. If they called me back tomorrow (which they won't) it would be at least March 7th. Not that it's going to change anything, but dangit, I want to know for sure what is going on. I have lots of theories and guesses, but I want to know. I am procrastinating gearing up for what's ahead, because if you don't know, it's not real. Not the best ideals to operate by to be sure, but it works.


Aeden and Asher were ice skating on my coffee table tonight. Couples ice skating, mind you. They are just two of the things, I mean PEOPLE, I find myself INCREDIBLY grateful for.


Now I am back to my letter...his 2nd parole hearing is coming up in a month. Yeah, I am going to put this off as ... long ... as ... possible. Ooooo, the Office is on! Saved by the bell ;)

The Little Half-Fib That Caught Up With Me...

So a few months ago, Aeden got on this big bearing of his testimony kick. We bear testimonies in Family Night, but soon that wasn't enough. One particular Fast Sunday, Bryan stayed home sick and Aeden started pestering me to bear his testimony. I was strong the first 10 times, but Sunday single parenting tends to wear me down, and after he promised he wouldn't need ANY help, I took him up. It went something like this...

Aeden: "I like to bew my testimon-EE...Mom, what's next???"
Mom (whispering): "What do you want to say, I am not going to tell you?"
Aeden (yelling): "But MOM! What comes next???"
Mom (whispering in a deep shade of red): "President Monson, the Book of Mormon, and the temple.
Aeden: "I know Presn't Monson is a prophet. And Joseph Smith translated the Gow-den Pwates. What's NEXT Mom?"
Mom: "In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."
Aeden: "Not yet MOM! I love the temple. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."

Needless to say, I wasn't anxious for him to repeat this experience until he was a bit older and could do it without help. So after church that Sunday, I told him that when he was in primary, he could bear his testimony there (meaning he could bear it at the end of a talk when he was asked to speak).

WELL...today was Aeden's first full day of Primary (the LDS portion of church for children). He had been so excited all week, asking every couple of hours or so if it was time for Primary yet. On Saturday, we finally were able to tell him "Primary is tomorrow!" He was stoked.

So when we took him to the Primary room to drop him up, he greeted one of the Primary Leaders by saying, "My Dad said I could go to pwimary tomorrow, and today is tomorrow, so I can come to pwimary (cheesy smile)!"

You can understand, with all this background, why I had my hopes pretty high that he would have a wonderful time. So when he wandered into the chapel with a mopey look on his face, I was perplexed. He was too sad to speak, he just buried his head in Bryan's lap, but I found out from Bryan that Aeden thought he would be able to bear his testimony in Primary every Sunday. When it was time to leave for Sacrament Meeting, and he still hadn't been invited to share his testimony, he was devastated. I'm not sure if he was more upset about not sharing his testimony, or about not being able to talk the whole time. Poor kid! That will teach me to be more specific :)

My Goals for 2010...

1. Do something brave at least once a day.

2. Play more.

3. Study more.

4. Pray more.

5. Listen to the Spirit more.

6. Act more.

7. Listen more.

8. Talk less.

9. Live more.

10. Express gratitude more freely.

11. Exercise a little (this one's for you, Bryan).

Guilt: it's what's for dinner.

I love visiting teaching. I have loved the ladies I go visit. I have loved the ladies that come visit me. I know and understand why it's an inspired program...it works!

There are, however, a couple of things I struggle with visiting teaching. I hate calling people on the phone asking if we can come. I hate asking anyone for anything on the phone...call it a weird phobia or something, I'm not sure. When I was the Young Women's president, I was fine with every aspect of my calling and responsibilities except calling the girls. I hated that. I would delegate it every chance I could, my poor counselors and advisors! I was hoping I would outgrow it, but so far, no.

And then my kiddos. I hate bringing my children to someone else's home unless they are specifically invited. Hopefully the reasoning behind that one is obvious. One child...no big deal...2+ children?! Always a big deal. I LOVE having people bring their kids to my house, kids don't stress me out when they are on my turf. But I think most people tend to get a little anxious when they see loads of kids start piling out of a van for what was supposed to be a quiet adult visit. True?

Anyways...it was the one calling I have had non-stop since high school. Was...

A few months ago, my companion was called away unexpectedly on a mission. We only had two ladies that we visited, so I kept going (sometimes just calling) every month for the 6 months or so that she was gone. It was getting trickier, because Asher was becoming much more mobile (my nice word for "destructive") and Liah wasn't yet in kindergarten. Plus most of this occured in the summer so I had Zerin home as well. Going with 4 kids was proving to be a problem. But with Bryan's help, and his Mom's help, and the flexibility of the ladies I visited, most months we made it work. I think I got way more out of my visits with these sweet ladies than I ever brought to them. There are just so many good women and mothers out there for me to learn from.

Shortly after my companion left, they gave me another lady to visit, bringing my total to three. I was once again very blessed because this sister was someone I had looked up to for a while, and it was great to have an excuse to get to know her better.

About a month before I had Belen, they gave me another sister to visit. I didn't know this lady before, but turns out, she had Celiac, so I was excited to get to know her better and have a fellow wheat-free friend. As a side note, the presidency apparently hadn't realized that I was without a companion, and at this same time, they offered to reassign me, but I figured my companion would be home within a few short weeks, so I told them I would prefer to wait it out since I had already made it all that time. They were good with that, so we carried on.

Then my companion came home from her mission, but since I was just about ready to have Belen, she offered to take care of September for me (even though it was pretty much already the end of the month). So all 4 visits were on her shoulders. I felt relieved.

Then I had Belen, and I could not get it together.

October came, and at the back of my mind, every day was trying to figure out how and when I was going to make time to see these four sisters. How to make them feel like they are not just an item on my checklist, but truly important to me? How to schedule a time to go see them with either my children all in tow, ready and waiting to destroy their homes, or make an appointment in the hopes it was a "good" night for Bryan so he could be okay alone with the kids.

October went. My sweet companion again offered to go for me. This time, relief was replaced with guilt.

November came, and they switched my companion. I had never before understood people throwing temper tantrums when their visiting teaching companionships were changed, but I did now. Not because I didn't like my new companion, I actually didn't know her, but it was just one more thing, one more change in my crazy world that probably really isn't that crazy when I get right down to it. I didn't mind going with someone new, but the thought of explaining my crazy life to someone and starting from scratch, just send my stomach churning. I couldn't see how these explanations would come across as anything other than whining, and I didn't want one more person to think I couldn't handle my life.

I worried and fretted about how and when I could go. I couldn't see a solution. I felt hopeless, and guilty, frustrated, and extremely overwhelmed.

So I did what I swore I would never do...I called the Relief Society President and asked for a smaller assignment. She instead gave me a temporary "break." Her kindhearted words couldn't take away the blanket of guilt that was enveloping me, but still, I couldn't see another way.

Hardly a day has gone by that I haven't felt guilty for doing this. I feel guilty for abandoning the ladies I visit, I feel guilty for my new companion...I worry if she finds out I asked to be released she will think it had something to do with her (it didn't!), I feel guilty for burdening my old companion with my share of the responsibilities for so long, I feel guilty for not being one of the "strong ones" for the Relief Society President to depend on, but above all, I feel like I have just failed my Savior. Even Sister Hinckley was a visiting teacher while her husband was prophet. If she could find time, why couldn't I???

I think of the promises and covenants I have made with my Father in Heaven, and I wonder how I can do those things, and still somehow take care of my family. People do it all the time, I know, but HOW??? I feel like I have sabotaged any chances I may have had to serve in the future because I have now been labeled as "fragile" or something like that. In short, I feel like a big, fat, quitter.

So, universe, my question is simple...How do I somehow find the balance so I can again take on those responsibilities? How do you all do it??? When do you go??? How long do your visits last (I feel guilty if I rush out too quickly or if I stay too long)?

I need to get rid of at least one thing to feel guilty over, please! Help a girl out, won't you? :)

HapPy BirThDaY AsHeR!!!!

My little Asher bear is two today!!! The day he was born marked the end of a very dark time for me, and he has been my little light ever since.

Here are some cute little things about Asher you may not know...

• He has THE most contagious laugh I have ever heard
• He still sucks his pointer finger ... oh well :)
• He loves being a middle child...he can join in the wrestling matches with the big kids, but he loves to cuddle and kiss his baby sister too. He especially likes jamming her binkie in her mouth, whether she wants it or not ;)
• He has next to no fear. I feel pretty confident he will be my next child to break a bone.
• He already knows how to tease and is a master at it.
• He likes to cuddle still...yay :)
• He has blog-dar...as soon as I sit down to write on my blog, within seconds he has climbed on my lap, finger in mouth all set to cuddle.
• He is not afraid to tell me what he wants...if I am hugging him the wrong way, he will move my hands into the right position, and then resume cuddling.
  
• Our first couple of ultrasounds where they dared guess on the sex of the baby, the doctor was sure he was a girl. We were so excited...I even bought clothes and had a name picked out. When we found out Asher was really a boy, it was a bit of an adjustment at first, but I couldn't have hand-picked a better, more perfect little spirit for our family. I am SO glad we got him and not the little girl I thought I wanted.

Things I have learned from Asher:

• To my dismay, dirty laundry is a comfort object.
• Tables are best utilized as catwalks.
• It's funnier (thanx Mom!) to run away when Mom's hands are full.
• Giggling ferociously is a sure-cure for the grumpies.
• Jumping makes everything more fun.
• Food is savored best when packed into one's cheeks for hours on end to be enjoyed right before the next meal.
• "Mel-mo" is the only celebrity that really matters.

I love you Asher!!!

The Spirit of Christmas...

Humbling Experience # 1743

A few months ago, I was at the copy store with all 4 kids, and very pregnant. The kids were, shall we say, being kids. Not horrible, but definitely not the Brady Bunch picture of perfection I prefer when venturing into public. There was a girl at the counter helping me, probably in her mid-twenties. She was being very nice, and even kind enough to ignore the craziness that was my children while she helped me. While I was assembling my copies, I overheard her talking to her friend/co-worker about how much she was dreading Sacrament Meeting on Sunday (it happened to be Mother's Day). I didn't catch everything but she talked about how people are generally insensitive and constantly pushing/questioning her and her husband why they don't have kids yet, and went on to say how difficult not being able to have children was.

I was heartbroken, and I felt utterly guilty. Here I was, four kids in tow with another on the way, looking and feeling quite frazzled. The sight of my children was probably painful for her...I felt awful. I wanted to go up and give her a hug, but that would have tipped her off that not only was I evesdropping, but if I misunderstood, how awkward! So I quickly talked myself out of it and went about my life.

Months past, and I couldn't stop thinking about her. Finally, a couple of weeks ago, I couldn't stand it anymore, so I wrote her an anonymous letter (I am one of the biggest chickens you will ever meet). I just told her how much I appreciated her kindness, and how I was sorry she was having this trial. It was a little more eloquent than that, but you get the idea. I took it in, and left it with one of the other workers with strict instructions not to rat me out, and then I left.

Which brings me to yesterday. Yesterday was just yucky for some reason. Our van was having issues...it took me over a half hour to get from our friend's house in South Bountiful to downtown Bountiful...that should maybe be a 5 minute trip because the van kept dying. In the middle of a two way road with people honking, in an intersection...people honking. Dying, dying, dying. Five minutes into that lovely trip, Asher started one of his infamous tantrums, a really loud one. So by the time I reached the copy store, I was on the brink of emotional collapse. I walked in (with inconsolable Asher) with all the kids and waited my turn. This girl was the one to help me. By the time I had finished, I was just a little weepy and feeling sorry for myself. It was very PMS-like except that I don't have a period while I'm nursing, so who knows. She smiled, and made a big fuss about how cute my Christmas letter was (appealing to my vanity always seems to lighten my mood). Then she asked how many kids I had, and pulled out 5 pieces of candy and wished me a Merry Christmas. I was totally bawling by this point, and told her thank you. The dark clouds that were surrounding my aura parted, and I was lifted by this small act of kindness. Maybe she knew I wrote the letter...I hope not. But in any case, here was a person whom I felt so compelled to "help," and yet look at how much more she helped me.

The day started out where I could relate with Alfalfa when he said "Then the clouds opened up and God said, 'I hate you Alfalfa!'"

But when I left that copy store, I had experienced this quote from President Kimball, “God does notice us, and He watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs.”

Why I don't ask...

Mom: "Aeden, why are you taking the ornaments off my Christmas tree?"

Aeden: "Well, they feel good in my ear."

Belen's Blessing Day

Sunday we blessed Belen. It was also my sis-in-law's farewell talk so it was nice to have so much family there in spite of the awful weather. Bryan's mom made her blessing dress...isn't it so gorgeous?!

The blessing itself was very special. Bryan had been having a hard week. He has been so physically depleted that he was having a hard time feeling the spirit, and up until the day before, had even been contemplating having someone else bless her. I am SO glad he was up to it. The blessing he gave her was beautiful and she was promised some amazing things. The three that stuck out to me the most were a love of the hispanic people, the gift of healing, and he told her she would be very involved in Family History and temple work.

She is a special little soul, and I feel so blessed to be her Mommy.

How does she do it???

We all have those "she's" in our lives. Some she's have the gift of being happy, others are exceptionally kind to their children and wonderful to their husbands all of the time, some are fantastic cooks, others are talented seamstresses, while others are gifted poets, or well-dressed, have great hair days most days, are immaculate housekeepers, all the while raising clean and well-mannered children...you know of whom I speak.

I am blessed to have several "she's." My she's aren't necessarily perfect in each area, but they are well-rounded, good mothers, and kind women. I watch them quietly when I hope they don't notice. I ask lots of questions when I can make it not be to obvious. I practice, practice, practice (by the way, have you ever noticed, practicing can get expensive????) But the biggest thing is, I just try to learn. I feel like a sponge when I am around you...my own private group of she's...just trying to glean all I can from your various wells of knowledge, talent, and resources. Thank you one and all (yes, all) of you for being part of the village to help me be a better me.

The difference in tantrums....

I would like to share the difference between a "cute" tantrum, and a tantrum from hell. Up until now, we have enjoyed cute tantrums from Asher. However, just in time for our full-house for Belen's blessing, we have entered the TFH stage. Yay.

Cute tantrum: Little boy lying on the ground "crying" with no tears coming out, just trying to get attention. Solution: Ignore and distract.

Tantrum from hell: Little boy begins screaming...we're talking full-lung capacity screaming for no apparent reason other than maybe his drool came out the wrong side of his mouth which annoyed him, and keeps going and going. Mother of this little boy has to go to the post office to buy a stamp so picks up said screaming little boy (along with baby, 3 year old and 6 year old) and makes her way into the Post Office...have you been to the Post Office in December??? I digress...

The 5 minutes I spent waiting for the automated postage machine (thank you THANK YOU whoever thought of that brilliant piece of technology) were some of the longest of my life. Two hours later, I calmed down from my ordeal, only to have him wake up early from his impromptu nap and start again... Solution: My "vast" amounts of parental wisdom have me coming up empty on this one. For now, I'm going with "endure to the end."

Mantra for today: "Asher is cute. Asher is sweet. Asher is cute. Asher is sweet."

Christmas Card & Letter...

Here is our Christmas card and letter for this year...

Back, by popular demand…it’s the

Skelton Family Christmas 2009 Quiz!

1. We now have ______ children.

a. 3

b. 5

c. 7

d. 13

2. Bryan is an assistant principal at ____________ Elementary.

a. Bountiful

b. Oak Hills

c. Adams

d. South Weber

3. It took us nearly ______ to close on our home here on 100 South.

a. 1 month

b. 2 months

c. 5 months

d. 9 months

4. Zerin (7) has informed us he is going to be a __________ when he grows up.

a. Major League Baseball Player

b. NBA Basketball Star

c. NFL Football Hero

d. Rich something or other, and live in New York giving away money to nice people.

5. Liah (6) started Kindergarten this year and at last count has _____ boy(s) in her class who consider themselves her boyfriend.

a. 1

b. 2

c. 3

d. We quit counting at 5.

6. Aeden (3), while listening to his dad explain something, did what?

a. Nodded, and said “Yes, Daddy.”

b. Supplied Bryan with supporting data for his argument from a Discovery Channel program he recently watched.

c. Smiled while sticking the dog’s tail in his ear.

d. Laid down, closed his eyes, and started snoring with vigor.

7. Asher (23 months) loves interior decorating. Which substance has he used as a medium in his masterpieces (walls, floors, couches, etc.)?

a. Eucerin Cream

b. Milk

c. Sharpie Marker

d. All of the above.

8. Belen (2 months) was 5 days early and was ________ when she was born.

a. 7 lbs 6 oz

b. 7 lbs 9 oz

c. 8 lbs 12 oz

d. 9 lbs 4 oz

9. In November we adopted a _________ bringing our pet total to two including Shadeau, our little black Shih-Tzu.

a. beta fish named Bert

b. iguana named Ziggy

c. kitty named Beans

d. 6 year old yellow lab named Alex

10. Our family blog is___________________.

a. www.bryanlovesdonnyosmond.com

b. www.zerinisacardinalsfan.com

c. www.gottalottakids.com

d. www.gothappiness.blogspot.com

We have had a lot of amazing experiences this past year, and are hopeful and excited about what 2010 has to offer. This Christmas season offers us an opportunity to reflect on the love of our Father in Heaven and his Only Begotten Son, Jesus Christ. We hope this letter finds you healthy, happy, and enjoying your holidays. Thank you for being an important part of our lives.

Love,

Bryan, Tiffany, Zerin, Liah, Aeden, Asher, Belen (and Shadeau and Alex)

Answers:

1. B. Crazy!!!

2. D. He loves his 2^nd family there…we feel very blessed he gets to work with so many wonderful people.

3. D. Don’t get me started. We’re very glad it’s over

4. A & D (not sure how that will work though, because he is determined to play for the St. Louis Cardinals)

5. D. I am so not ready for this stage of my life yet!!!!

6. C or D. True story.

7. D. Woe is me

8. D. Yay for epidurals!!!

9. D. Proof of how much I love my husband. Did I mention he’s an inside dog???

10. D. Stop in and say “hi!”

A Good Doctor!

Bryan's symptoms have started worsening again, so after another sleepless night, he asked if I could get him into see Dr. Cope (our family practice doctor) just to see if maybe the medication was out of whack or something. They didn't have any openings for nearly two weeks, EXCEPT for one cancellation that they had this morning. So, Bryan took a half day, and went.

Last year when we went to this doctor, he all but told us that Bryan was going to just have to live with the pain, and that we may never know what was wrong. Whisperings of fibromyalgia even riddled the conversation. Needless to say, I was less than happy with this guy, and wasn't all that excited about going back to him.

Today changed my opinion of him.

Bryan prayed on his way to the doctor that he would know what to say, what symptoms to bring up, etc. As he spoke to the doctor, Bryan said he was genuinely concerned. He wants him to go see a different neurologist and rheumotologist. When he told him we were switching insurance companies at the beginning of the month, Dr. Cope was very excited and even gave us some names of doctors to try and get into. He told Bryan that some of the tests he has gone through would not have definitively proven or disproven some of the diseases he suspects. So, he told us of two more tests he will need to undergo after the first of the year.

We still may never find out what is wrong, but it was such a breath of fresh air to be validated by someone that something is wrong. I've said it before, I don't necessarily expect Bryan to ever get better, but to know what is going on, that would truly be a gift. I feel very peaceful about things (as long as I don't think too hard).

So, for now we wait...one appointment is set for the first part of February, and his files have to be reviewed by a panel of doctors before the will set up his other appointment, but more than likely it will be around the same time. I feel very very blessed and humbled. It feels good to no longer be in a dead end.

A Powerful Letter...

This is a little personal, but it has been on my mind a lot lately, so I feel like I should share. "Sam" has been facing some challenges lately, and a few weeks ago, wrote Bryan a letter asking for his advice on how to deal with what is going on in his life. Bryan has spent the time since then pondering how to respond. It was a very heavy, very sad letter. In my ignorance, I thought Bryan was putting him off so I kept nagging him to hurry and write him back. I should have known better.

Yesterday, Bryan sent me a rough draft of his response to Sam. I couldn't help but think as I read, that as awesome as my husband is, there was no way he could have come up with those words on his own. I know my own first impulses on what to say to Sam, and this letter is so much more in tune than anything I could have come up with. I am so grateful for a Father in Heaven that can make weak things strong, and shore us up to handle the missions he sent us here to fulfill. Here is a portion of the letter...

I have been pondering and praying over what to write in response to your past letter. I am by no means qualified to give you a great answer, but I can share with you what I know to be true. Through years of schooling, experience and extensive reading I have come to a conclusion about life: life’s purpose is simple. If I remember that life and its purpose are simple my life runs fairly smoothly. In contrast, when I start focusing on all of my shortcomings, and things that I have to do, my life gets chaotic and lacks meaning. Life’s purpose is this: to become like Christ. We accomplish this goal on a daily basis, by living each day so that we can have the Spirit. [Sam], live one day at a time, do not look too far into the future and worry about what you will be like then. Live one day and live it well. I have realized that all I have to do is have the Spirit with me each day. If I have the Spirit as a companion, I cannot go wrong, each day will be meaningful and I will accomplish things that I am not able to do on my own. In short the answer to all of you questions is actually quite simple; live your life each day so that the Holy Ghost can influence you at any moment.

We accomplish the goal of becoming like Christ on a daily basis, by living each day so that we can have the Spirit. This goal of becoming Christ like is so huge that we cannot accomplish it by always worrying about what we are not. We all have a past, but it is a past for a reason, it is to be left behind. Yes, we must always remember our past and learn from it, but dwelling on it can only bog us down. Each morning my prayer is short, but sincere. I ask my Heavenly Father to enable me to keep each of His commandments, because I know that I cannot do it on my own. At the end of the day I return to my knees and report to my Heavenly Father what I have done throughout the day. Knowing that I will kneel before my maker at the end of the day motivates me to keep the Spirit so that I am worthy to be in his presence. [Sam], I cannot stress enough the importance of living in the “holy present,” for it is in the present that we build our future. President Kimball put it this way,

In the parable, oil can be purchased at the market. In our lives, the oil of preparedness is accumulated drop by drop in righteous living. Attendance at sacrament meetings adds oil to our lamps, drop by drop over the years. Fasting, family prayer, home teaching, control of bodily appetites, preaching the gospel, studying the scriptures- each act of dedication and obedience is a drop added to our store. Deeds of kindness, payment of offerings and tithes, chaste thoughts and actions, marriage in the covenant for eternity-these, too, contribute importantly to the oil with which we can, at midnight, refuel our exhausted lamps. (Faith Precedes the Miracle, pp. 255-256)

It is through the little things that we do that we build up a reservoir of spiritual oil. Focus on the simple things, reading the scriptures, prayer, church, and being kind to all men. It is through these small things that you will grow “stronger and stronger in humility and firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ.” This last General Conference Elder Scott spoke about the importance of using the Spirit on a daily basis, he shared this warning:

I share a warning. Satan is extremely good at blocking spiritual communication by inducing individuals, through temptation, to violate the laws upon which spiritual communication is founded. With some, he is able to convince them that they are not able to receive such guidance from the Lord.

Satan has become a master at using the addictive power of pornography to limit individual capacity to be led by the Spirit. The onslaught of pornography in all of its vicious, corroding, destructive forms has caused great grief, suffering, heartache, and destroyed marriages. It is one of the most damning influences on earth. Whether it be through the printed page, movies, television, obscene lyrics, vulgarities on the telephone, or flickering personal computer screen, pornography is overpoweringly addictive and severely damaging. This potent tool of Lucifer degrades the mind and the heart and the soul of any who use it. All who are caught in its seductive, tantalizing web and remain so will become addicted to its immoral, destructive influence. For many, that addiction cannot be overcome without help. The tragic pattern is so familiar. It begins with curiosity that is fueled by its stimulation and is justified by the false premise that when done privately, it does no harm to anyone else. For those lulled by this lie, the experimentation goes deeper, with more powerful stimulations, until the trap closes and a terribly immoral, addictive habit exercises its vicious control.

Participation in pornography in any of its lurid forms is a manifestation of unbridled selfishness. How can a man, particularly a priesthood bearer, not think of the emotional and spiritual damage caused to women, especially his wife, by such abhorrent activity?

Well did inspired Nephi declare, “And [the devil] will . . . pacify, and lull them away into carnal security, . . . and thus [he] cheateth their souls, and leadeth them away carefully down to hell.”

If you are ensnarled in pornography, make a total commitment to overcome it now. Find a quiet place; pray urgently for help and support. Be patient and obedient. Don’t give up.

How do we invite the Spirit into our lives on a daily basis? There is another simple answer to this question, by being completely obedient to the commandments of God. Even though the answer is simple, it is not always easy to be obedient in those quiet moments when nobody is watching. Here are some ways I have found to help me obey the commandments on a daily basis.

1. Exercise and Healthy Eating. There is something about taking care of our body and treating it as a temple that helps us to keep the Spirit. The Word of Wisdom provides us with a promise: “And all saints who remember to keep and do these sayings, walking in obedience to the commandments, ^ashall receive ^bhealth in their navel and marrow to their bones; And shall ^afind ^bwisdom and great ^ctreasures of ^dknowledge, even hidden treasures; And shall ^arun and not be ^bweary, and shall walk and not faint. And I, the Lord, give unto them a promise, that the ^adestroying angel shall ^bpass by them, as the children of Israel, and not slay them. Amen. “

2. Work. “Idleness is not in itself a vice, but a rust that attacks all virtues.” Work not only keeps us busy, but provides us with a sense of meaning and worth. Work is a principal of the Celestial Kingdom.

3. Hope. Mormon wrote to his son, “How is it that ye can attain unto faith, save ye shall have hope? And what is it that ye shall ^ahope for? Behold I say unto you that ye shall have ^bhope through the atonement of Christ and the power of his resurrection, to be raised unto life ^ceternal, If you don’t have hope that you can be “raised unto life eternal,” then you will not have the strength to change. If you don’t have faith in the morning that when you lie down that night you will still be clean, then you will not be inviting the Spirit to accompany you throughout the day.

Becoming like Christ takes a lifetime, but it can only be done line upon line, day after day. Focus on making each day be perfect, remind yourself that you can be worthy for one day. Don’t make goals to be worthy for a month, it is too far away. Each morning make a goal to be worthy for a day, and dedicate that day to the Lord through prayer. Be consistent, work hard and have hope that you too can rise to your potential each day as a Son of God.

Love,

Bryan

Happy Birthday, Jonathan!

My little nephew is 3 today!!! I can't hardly believe it, time has really flown. He and Asher were having fun yesterday going and cleaning off everyone else's plates of their leftover pie, they are quite the pair, those two. When I think of all of the events that have transpired to get him to where he is now, I just cannot help but marvel how God, in his infinite wisdom, can make all things right again. Jonathan is, and always will be, our little miracle.

Today's guilty pleasure...

I probably shouldn't admit to loving this so much, but I can't stop laughing. I love Andy so much!!!! ;)

Aunt Denise's Obituary

Denise Lou Skelton Litster passed peacefully from this life on November 12, 2009.
She was born April 11, 1946 in Tooele, UT to Brant & Mary Milner Skelton
She was preceded in death by her parents and both of her brothers: Brant M. Skelton & David M. Skelton.
She married Dean C. Litster on Oct 7, 1968, they divorced in 1983.
She is survived by her three children & their spouses: Ellen & Mason Paddock, Michael & Shayla, Peter & Aubrie and ten grandchildren: Zachary, Jacob, Devon, Megan, Allison, Kael, Isaac, Morghan, Aiden, & Edyn.
Denise was born in Tooele, moved to Bountiful when she was about 8, and spent the majority of her life in Woods Cross. She
graduated from Bountiful High School and attended BYU. She loved her neighbors in Woods Cross and all the friends she had collected
over the years from working at Pace's, Bratten's, Farmer's Bank, Albertsons, & Safeway and living in various wards. She had a fabulous sense of
humor. She loved being out in her yard, unless it was hot. She loved her dogs, Christmas music, sunsets, roses, plants,
serving others and people. She was a faithful member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, serving in many
callings. She put up a good fight for 30 years against M.S.(Multiple Sclerosis). She tried many experimental therapies,
including having live bees shipped to the house and stinging herself a couple of times a day. She would have tried anything to
kick this disease. She never gave up. She had a good attitude to the end. We are excited for her to be reunited with her
parents and brothers and to be free from her tired body. We love you Mom!
The family would like to thank North Canyon Care Center and Bristol Hospice for the loving care that they gave her. We would also like to thank all of her faithful friends for visiting her often.
Funeral services will be held at 11:00 a.m., Wednesday, November 18, 2009 at the Woods Cross 9th Ward, 790 West 1500 South. A visitation for family and friends will be held Tuesday evening from 6:00 - 8:00 p.m. at Russon Brothers Bountiful Mortuary, 295 North Main, and Wednesday morning 9:45 - 10:45 a.m. at the church prior to services. Interment-Bountiful City Cemetery.

The broken camera and the big baby...

No, these two things are not related.

But our camera of nearly 4 years has officially bitten the dust. I am SOOOOO sad :( And just when I was starting to get into photoshop, and Belen's starting to change so much, blah blah blah. Oh well. We have a camera feature on our video camera, it's just not as good, but it will do.

Last week, I took Belen into the doctor because she has a little cold, and with all the garbage going around, I'm a bit paranoid for her. She is good, but they weighed her, and at 7 weeks she is 13 lbs 1 oz (with clothes). To give you a point of reference, Zerin at 2 months was 12 lbs 3 oz, Liah at 2 months was 12 lbs 7 oz, Aeden at 2 months was 14 lbs 9 oz (yeah, he was huge!), and Asher was 12 lbs 14 oz. Here is a cute pic of Bella in the blessing dress Grandma Skelton made her (more on that later). Thanks, Courtney, for the cute pics!!!

It started out like a normal week...

This has been quite the week...I feel like I've momentarily gotten back on our infamous rollercoaster of craziness. It has made me think...a luxury I don't much have time for with 5 kids, and 2 dogs (we'll get to that later). It started last Saturday when we found out little Gracie had passed away. The ability to wrap my head around it, and the level of grief her sweet parents are facing escapes me. That coupled with Wednesday's anniversary made for a somber beginning of our week.

Bryan has been hurting quite a bit more lately. In the past few weeks we have kicked around switching insurances. He never out loud said why he was considering this, but the switch would make it possible for him to go to some doctors that have not been covered by our current provider. Wednesday, he officially switched.

Thursday evening, Bryan went to Gracie's viewing. Her sweet grandpa, asked Bryan almost right away how he was doing (seriously?!). Bryan told him fine, and of course he brushed that off and said to Bryan, "Don't you give up!"

Friday morning we got the call that Bryan's aunt, his dad's sister, had passed away. She had battled MS for 30 years, and had spent the better part of the last 10 years in a nursing home not too far from where we live. She was a very special lady, my kids loved visiting her...especially on trick-or-treat day :) She embodied enduring to the end, and even though I am so happy for her that she gets to be with her parents and brothers again, it's always hard.

Later that day, I made an appointment with a Rheumatologist up at the U for Bryan in February. There are so many alternative medical options out there for us to explore, I have wondered why I get a sick feeling every time we discuss going down those paths in search of answers about his health, especially when those paths seem to reap amazing results for so many. I have wondered why going this direction seems to feel right when we keep getting shut down time after time by doctors who tell us that this illness (or whatever it is) is simply in his head, and "just something [he'll] have to learn to live with." I wonder why so many people can walk in a doctor's office and walk out with an answer. But most of all, I wonder if this time will be different, or, if like the Children of Israel, we'll be forced to wander for 40 years in the wilderness of ignorance because we just aren't grasping the lesson of this whole situation.

Friday night, Bryan came home and told me about a dog he found on ksl.com that was free that looked exactly like his old dog, Wylie. Wylie was a black lab-rotweiler-border collie mix...this was a lab-rot mix and very cute. He talked himself out of it Friday night, so we never called.

I woke up Saturday morning with the sickest feeling like I'd left one of my kids at the grocery store. All I could think about was that stupid dog, and I did NOT want a stupid dog, so you can understand my predicament. When Bryan woke up I told him we had to get that dog, but when we went to look at it, the ad was gone. For fun, I looked through the other ads, and found a 6 year old yellow lab named, Alex, who needed a new home. I showed it to Bryan, and he lit up like a kid on Christmas morning. He made a half-hearted attempt to talk himself out of it, but I could see how much it meant to him, so I called...

Four hours later, they brought home the newest member of our family... A-Rod or Alex...yeah he was named for a Yankee player :) (pray for me!!!)

I am VERY worried about being able to handle it all, but it really did feel like it was meant to be. Alex and Shadeau get along very well...we're hoping Alex's good behavior will rub off on Shadeau. He's already trained, extremely obedient, and is so good with the kids, so I feel very blessed.

We'll see how next week goes...

One year.

It's been one year today since Bryan's Dad went on to bigger and better things. It seems like a lifetime ago in some ways, and in others, I still half expect him to walk through the door. This is one of my favorite last pictures of Dad. He was going through his shop and came across a cache of pens, so he had the kids help him test them all. They love and miss their grandpa so much, especially Zerin. Those two are a couple of peas in a pod :) I am so grateful for the wonderful memories we have of Dad, and for the gospel that assures us this separation is temporary.

My Christmas Service Countdown Board!

I am a sucker for Christmas countdowns and advent calendars. So when I saw this DARLING Christmas countdown calendar on controllingmychaos.blogspot.com, I knew it was my destiny to create one for myself. Each day has a laminated piece attached with a magnet that has a good deed behind it. Brilliant! Once again, she has an awesome tutorial so I'll let you check hers out. I ended up getting a board that was bigger than 12x12, that's why I have more of a patchwork look, but I am so so so excited to use it this year :)

Please keep this family in your prayers. This little girl was the granddaughter of one of our favorite neighbors.

Video Courtesy of KSL.com

A "hehehe" to start your day ;)

Thanks to my friend, Maria, for this. This is EXACTLY how I feel right now!!!

Thinking back...

Today is one of those reflective kind of days...

I was thinking back to this time last year...ugh. It was a time where I felt like I was digging in with my fingertips, barely hanging on. I could only dream of a time where things would be some kind of "normal." A time where I wished I could act like a mom instead of a general contractor, a doctor, a psychiatrist, a landlord, and a grunt worker. Anyways the point is, that a relatively short amount of time later, here I am, smack dab in the middle of normal, and it's wonderful.

I have friends that are going through their own "last year"'s right now...friends who are out of work, a friend who's baby is having major surgery today, a friend who isn't bringing home the baby she's been planning for for months...

Their trials are SO much worse than anything I have experienced, and I wouldn't be dumb enough to say what I have gone through even compares to what these guys are going through. But it has made me think. As one who is now on the outside looking in, I am so grateful for everything we have gone through, I am so grateful for the nastiness that is inevitably and undoubtedly on its way, and I'm eternally grateful for a Heavenly Father who knows me well enough to know, I can handle it.

Happy Halloween from the Siblings of Bryan ;)

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The Halloween Carnival...

Last night, we went to the elementary school's Halloween Carnival. Can I just say it was the most fun I've had since I was little at one of those :) The kids begged me to dress up, so I did. I was the only one dressed up as the "Swine Flu," gotta love being an original. Zerin was of course, a St. Louis Cardinal's baseball player, Liah was Dorothy, Aeden was a nice pirate on a pirate ship, and Asher was just happy to be there :)

I gave each of the kids their own tickets and told them we could do whatever they wanted with their own tickets. It was awesome because the only tears came at the end of the night when Aeden had run out of tickets one before his siblings, but that didn't last long so we were good.

Aeden was a riot...going up to people, introducing himself...giving a basic rundown of Skelton Culture. It was quite enlightening for all who attended his little town square meeting, I'm sure :)

I let Zerin wander a little bit...you could tell he was just so proud of himself that he could walk around without me right there. He ended up hanging out at the football throw and won a 2-liter of soda. Unfortunately for him, it is my very FAVORITE kind (the new 7-Up Pomegranate) and it's been all I can do to stay away from it. So far, I'm succeeding. We'll see how the day progresses.

Liah and Aeden wanted balloon animals...well not animals, but you know what I mean. Aeden got a sword with a sheath to go along with his pirate motif. Liah got a beautiful flower.

My favorite part of the evening was the fishing pond, but not for the reason you may think. The lady running the pond was actually the mom of one of the little boys in Liah's class. Right away she recognized Liah and said, "Oh I know who YOU are. Is your name Liah?" I was really impressed, because I since I haven't been able to get to her class much yet, I don't know most of the kids in her class. Come to find out, her son has a crush on Liah. She couldn't talk long, but then she was like, "Yeah, [Liah] is one of the popular ones." What does that even mean??? I wondered. Apparently, her son isn't the only one vying for Liah's affections. Just what every mother wants to hear...or maybe not! Although I am extremely glad my unpopularity gene apparently missed her, the thought of dealing with boys in this manner already is, um, traumatizing. But I'm a survivor, so hopefully we'll make it through the next 15 years okay.

And now you know...

So Bryan likes to ask on days when I don't get a shower, "Why???" I will answer with a picture, and a sidenote that our little Asher dear managed to smear Eucerin Cream not just on what you see, but the TV, the floor, the couch, the walls, and of course, all over himself (all while Aeden zoned out to the TV, failing to intervene).

I think Bryan should rephrase his question and ask on the days when I DO get a shower to simply, "How???"