I used to think that if I had enough faith, Heavenly Father would grant my requests. I am now learning that having enough faith means my requests will be what Heavenly Father wants.
I have felt this for a while, but I had it pretty much confirmed yesterday that Bryan's health issues are here to stay. That possibility used to make me angry, anxious, and above all, incredibly fearful.
As I have watched him gradually worsen over the past few months, the best thing that has happened is that fear is slowly leaving me. Maybe I am just forcing myself not to think about possible outcomes anymore (I used to play out different scenarios in my mind...mostly I think, so I wouldn't be caught off-guard by even the most awful of circumstances, and not fall apart). Or maybe, finally, I am starting to acknowledge that Heavenly Father is in charge, and by that acknowledgement, admit that I am not. Maybe that small realization comes with a gift we can't give ourselves, but one that is made available through the atonement....
P E A C E.
4 comments:
Even though I can't give you much empathy because I haven't had your struggles, I can so relate to how you feel. I'm so sorry that Bryan is still suffering so much. I'm so grateful for a Savior who can help us carry our burdens and I'm grateful to know he is there with you, my friend. Hang in there!
I"m so impressed by you and your attitude Tiffany. You are truly someone I look up to. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and I am sorry that Bryan is hurting still. Life has some interesting way to teach us lessons, right? Sure love ya!
I'm sorry for all you've been through with Bryan's health. That would be so frustrating. But what an amazing perspective! It's awesome how the atonement can help us feel at peace even when that is the last thing that makes sense. Thanks for sharing your moment. :)
Good thoughts/perspective. You have such a great perspective and you don't give yourself enough credit. I think that ya'll are doing just what the Lord would have you do and you're handling it well (from those of us on the outside!)
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