Blessings...

Blessings come in so many forms, I feel like I've been getting a lot of experience in recognizing them lately :)

As many of you know, Bryan has been undergoing tons and tons of tests to try to figure out what is wrong. The last two weeks, he has gotten much worse, and hasn't been sleeping more than a couple hours a night. Last week, his doctor told us that one of his tests showed some problem spots...one in his knee and one in his stirnum, not relating to his other issues. Because of those, they had to switch gears and figure out what those were. Bryan told him no, and just to focus on the problem at hand. The doctor then told him that he really didn't have a choice...throwing out names like "osteoblastic lesions" and other such jargon. When Bryan's blank stares continued, he stopped and said, "cancer." The world as I knew it stopped.

So we waited, wondered and prayed for the next few days. I had thought that any answer, no matter what it was, would be welcome, but hearing those words literally changed my life. The second set of tests came back inconclusive, and at that point, the fear kicked in and I was sure he had it. I couldn't do anything but sit and check my blog over and over and over again...check my email over and over and over again...longing for distractions to keep me from thinking about my biggest fear of all.

Anyways, yesterday, the doctor called, and said it is NOT cancer, and I cannot even describe my joy. I am kind of mad at myself that it takes facing the potential of losing my husband to put certain things in perspective, but better late than never, ay :)

One of those perspectives came as I was sitting in fast and testimony meeting listening to the different testimonies this past Sunday. As I listened to different people recount trials and adversities and how the Lord had blessed them through those trials, I had an overwhelming realization that God truly does bless us all in our varying degrees of difficulty...and each are equally important to him. I realized that of all the people that got up to speak, probably twice that many more are sitting in the congregation or at home suffering in silence. You never know what people are going through behind their doors and their smiles. I left feeling a greater love of my fellow man, and that I needed to do a better job of getting outside of myself so that I can be more in tune with the Spirit to meet those needs I might not otherwise know about. It was a very powerful experience...one I hope I don't forget.