I love it that I wrote about all this stuff with Belen's birth on my blog. I forget so much, so it actually made me feel better to see that what I'm going through this time isn't much different from the last. Friday's doctor appointment revealed I was still at a 3+ and still 75%, which honestly was what I was expecting, although I surprised myself a little when I realized how disappointed I was. Disappointed not that I wasn't having a baby this week, just disappointed because I thought for once my body may actually figure out this labor thing on it's own. When people have asked when I'm getting induced, or when she's coming, I just haven't had very good answers. I couldn't explain what I was hoping for without it coming across as just not knowing at all what I wanted. Which I guess I don't, BUT all that down time yesterday allowed me to finally be able to put into words what I am feeling, so here goes...
- I desperately want to be able to go to Bryan's doctor appointment tomorrow. After months and months of waiting for this one, I really really want to be there, even if it's just in the waiting room. To the average eye, Bryan looks pretty normal, even healthy, so maybe I'm hoping the mere sight of me and my pathetic self will trigger some sort of Pavlov response in this individual where he thinks, even if just subconsciously, "must not rest until solution is found!" Wouldn't that be nice :) Have you noticed that all of my pre-doctor visit rantings sound exactly the same? Whatever, I just want to be there :)
- I really want my doctor to deliver this baby. He has delivered my last 3 kids. All of my kids' deliveries have had some kind of weird complications, and just knowing he is handling it and is overseeing things puts my mind at ease when I think of all of the what-if's. And since he will be gone this Wednesday through Saturday watching his son graduate from Marine Boot Camp in San Diego, this week was never really an option for me as far as being induced goes. And I'll be delivering at a different hospital this time, which even though I know it's a really good hospital, I've been nervous for that change too, so I just want the consistency and reassurance of knowing he's there taking care of things.
- I have Group B Strep again, which it's no big deal for me, but it could be a big deal for the baby. They give me antibiotics via IV prior to delivery. When I've been induced before with this, that part takes about 3 hours, and then they start the pit. If they give them too early, or too late, the baby isn't protected, so the timing is important. This one isn't really a pro-or con as far as induction goes, it just adds one more thing to try to coordinate.
- When you have more than 1 child, child care during a hospital stay becomes more of an issue...something that I had not really put much thought into before we had Asher. Bryan for sure has to be there for the birth, and depending on when she's born, the first night, so basically 24 hours, but then he's always anxious to get back to the other kids so they don't feel too displaced by things. Not that they even notice we are gone, they are always so well taken care of, but truth be told, we both hate to be without them for more than a few hours at a time. I love my stays at the hospital, but I think I am able to enjoy them because I know he's with our kiddies. We have had SO many offers to help with our kids when we have the baby (which by the way THANK YOU everyone). But realistically, Fridays and weekends are obviously better for all involved. So if I have the luxury of planning when this child makes her debut, I'm going to want to plan it for a time that's convenient for everyone that may be helping. I am a huge planner...huge planner, so trying to take this day by day, has been difficult. Although I must say, I am way better this time than I have ever been with any of my others as far as taking things one step at a time, so that's good, right? Progress is progress, no matter how slow, that's what I keep reminding myself :) I did make arrangements for the 5th in case I'm induced for them to stay with my mom overnight. Naturally, the kids are all pulling for the 5th :) But I know there are lots of options for them and their care if things don't work out like that, so I'm trying to just ride with it, and I am hoping that it will all fall into place when and if the need arises. Two of my sisters-in-law and my mom-in- law are all super close, plus I've had about 10 neighbors offer to run over in the middle of the night, so I'm not worried about the willingness, I'm just mostly worried about it coming together without everyone knowing exactly what to expect. It's a faith thing I guess :)
- I really, really, really want to go into labor on my own. This is my last chance. I know that, and I want to at least give my body a shot at getting this little cherub here on her terms instead of mine. I want to know I was patient at least once. I want to know I didn't rush things and bring her here before she was ready, when if I could have held out for a few more hours, she would have come at her perfect time. Logically, I know that's pretty silly. Plenty of people have the decision made for them due to health or c-sections, etc., but still, it's just one of those notions I can't get out of my head. I've been induced 5 times, all of those have been due to comfort or schedules, never health...but I've never gone into a regular labor on my own. Just once, I would love for that to happen. But, bearing in mind I know how my body is, I scheduled an induction for the 5th...4 days after my due date. I figured that was a good compromise with myself. I estimated at the rate she is growing she shouldn't be more than 11 lbs by that point...and if I can do almost 10, what's another pound in the grand scheme of things? :) Again, thanks to my post from the last go around, Belen was measuring about 7 lbs 6 oz a week before I had her, so 2 weeks before she was due. That means, she either grew 2 lbs in a week, or there is a little room for error when it comes to the ultrasound. At my Friday appointment, my doctor said this baby is measuring 8 1/2 to 8 3/4 pounds. In any case, I really can't see this one being over 11 in 13 days, can you?! Say no. Just say no.
So when it comes down to it, if I had to explain what I hoped would happen, here is my fantasy...
Once upon a time, we drop the kids off with my mom around 1pm after she gets off work on the 5th, then we go straight to the hospital where I get my antibiotics. In the meantime, I have started labor on my own, so no pitocin needed. Shortly after finishing the antibiotic (shortly meaning however long the medicine needs to have the best effect), labor goes quickly. By bedtime she's here and happy and healthy, weighing in at 10 lbs even. My mom brings the kids down to the hospital in the morning to meet the baby, Bryan takes the kids home, and we all live happily ever after. The end.
Stop laughing, it's my fantasy. It's supposed to be unrealistic :)
2 comments:
I don't think it is silly to want to go on your own. I felt very strongly with Milla that I wasn't to rush her or try to force her out. I was to wait for her to be ready and it was probably the hardest thing I had to due (right then especially). She ended up being 10 days past due but I am so glad I waited and let her decide when she was ready. Don't give up and believe in yourself and your body. Good luck!
Oh, Tiffany!
That's how I felt when I had Cami 6 days late! Did you ever think about the possibility of the due date being off? My friend just had her baby, 15 days late! And he was only 8 lbs, something. She was obviously determined to go on her own, but she was also very comfortable the entire pregnancy (3rd baby) Anyway, just thought I'd share. I love your fairy tale. Why can't it just go that way?
Are you still with Bierer? We miss him! Maybe Jared can join his group someday...
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