Tender Mercy # 8965

I love BYU-TV. I used to watch the devotionals and talks on it all the time, especially when I would nurse Belen, but I haven't had much time for that lately (TV, not nursing). Yesterday, though, I had a few moments, so I sat down to watch while working on a project. A woman named Barbara Heise was the speaker. I will post the talk as soon as it is available.

I had never heard of her, and probably would have changed the channel, except that it was Sunday, so I knew nothing else was on. Her talk was on how our trials make us stronger, or something like that. She talked about her life. She talked about how she and her husband found the church...talk about someone who was truly prepared for the missionaries! Then she talked about the loss of her baby. She talked about how her husband had to go on disability and she went back to school so she could get a job to support her family. She talked about her son with down's syndrome, and also about his death that was the day after her other son's wedding. She talked about losing her husband. Seriously...this woman was Job reincarnated. You would think that it would have been very depressing, but it was just the opposite.

The thing I loved about her most was she said how she NEVER would have chosen those trials and experiences for herself, but she was so grateful for them because of all she had learned. I guess I liked that because I too think there is no way on this big green earth I would have chosen some of the things we have been dealt...so it made me happy someone who I think is awesome feels the same way, but at the same time, I too feel very grateful for everything I have been able to learn.

Her talk was an answer to many of my silent prayers as I have struggled this week with feelings of "it's too much." If this woman, who has had SO much more to deal with than I ever hope to have to, can go through life with a smile on her face, then by darn, so can I! I try so hard to be one of those people that we always hear about that "never complains," but it is something I struggle with. Even if I don't utter my frustrations out loud, you can pretty count on that I am saying more than my fair share in the quiet confines of my brain, so I might has well be spewing out my blicky-blahs for all to hear. It's not pretty, and I'm not proud of it.

As I listened to Sister Heise, and how she chose to handle and view the many trials that were handed to her, I felt some of that darkness I had been feeling disapate. Instead of feeling picked on, I felt buoyed, like Heavenly Father was letting me know he had a small amount of confidence left in me to pull it together. Yay for parents not giving up on their children!!! :)

I can't promise I won't complain again...it is only Monday afterall ;)... but I feel like trying again, and that is a very good thing!