Unloading my brain...

I want so bad to post some super cute pictures of my sweet little baby, but alas, I hate my picture-taking skills. I am getting worse as time goes on...ugh! So just imagine, her cute dark hair is thinning, and some quasi-light blonde hair is replacing it. She has a smile that can light the far corners of the saddest heart, and more rolls than the Pillsbury dough boy. I wuf her :)

A week ago, Bryan took a tumble at school and got a nice little concussion. He is doing a lot better now, so for that I am VERY glad. His memory wasn't all that great, he would get these awesome headaches, and his disposition was different from normal.

I'm getting a little tired from all of this, I admit it. I wouldn't call it burning out just yet, but I am tired. Belen is going through a growth spurt or maybe even teething (heaven forbid!), so she isn't that happy of a camper right now either. She makes up for it when she's happy, but yeah. The kids, cute wonderful and sweet as they are, have reached a new level of insanity. I'm starting to dread people coming over because they don't get to see them as I know they really are, but see this why-don't-you-medicate-them version of themselves. Not fun.

If I'm honest, I know why. When Bryan isn't feeling well, I tend to get a little down, and in turn, don't do as much with them as I should and want to. Hello! They are bored and vying for attention. Since that will most likely become more the norm than the exception, I really need to work on that. Bryan is so good with them, and most days still does lots with them when he gets home, but you know. I talked with my cousin's husband a while ago (his wife, my cousin, has MS) and he just has such a good, laid-back, live-in-the-moment attitude, I really admire him. Hopefully I can get there.

Bryan has such a good attitude about the whole thing, and is honestly grateful for being sick for all the things he has learned. I am not so good...I would prefer a different lesson :)

As it is, I find myself counting down the days to Bryan's dr. appointments, with this probable false hope that they will figure out what is wrong and help us help him. As afraid as I am of never knowing what is wrong, I come to realize that what I'm really afraid of is watching him suffer for the rest of his life. I honestly don't know if I can handle that. Helping someone get through a trial that you know has an end is one thing, but this feels very indefinite, and I'm not good with indefinite.

Well, enough cosmic pondering, it's time to finish dinner :)