a long post...

I have a terrible memory.  It's true.  If I didn't keep a journal, I'm pretty sure most of my memories and experiences would be lost forever.  Because of that, I want to take a minute to document the last few weeks.  This is not really an entertaining post, so don't feel bad at all if you want to skip it over :).

Around the end of August, I started feeling not great.  Understatement.  I felt awful.  I didn't think much of it, I blamed it on stress.  But when by the end of September nothing had changed, and then Belen and Mandalen started having symptoms, I caved and went to the doctor.  Long story short...giardia.  I know, crazy.  Thankfully, as of this morning, I feel like I'm finally starting to return to feeling normal.

Okay, so I don't know how many of you have experienced the fantastic inner cleansing that is giardia, but yeah, not my favorite.  This also happened to coincide with the beginning of the school year, Bryan being out of commission more or less (his back is finally starting to heal!), new therapy appointments for both Liah and Aeden, which are weekly endeavors, PTA birthday tables I had to run 3 times last month (summer birthdays as well as September), a ward newsletter to get out, canning, and yard cleanup to prepare for fall.  Oh, and then the dog, Alex, got sick.  He had a large area  of dermatitis under his ear that got infected, along with a cracked tooth which got infected, and both things led to a staph infection that nearly proved fatal.  But I'm happy to say that after a minor surgery, some great medicine, and 3 weeks in a cone, he's now good as new :)  The only down side is his medication makes him have to urinate much more often, so weekly carpet cleanings are also now on the order.  At one point, between, me, the dogs, and the kids (I won't even count Bryan), we had 12 medications to take multiple times each day.  Remembering medicine is not my forte, but we made it through the worst, and for that, I felt pretty proud of myself :)

Oh and dinner.  Why the why when you feel like garbage does everyone still need to eat every.single.night?!  Good thing my kids are forgiving when it comes to menu variety.  And even though we have kept our extra activities to a minimum, it has just felt like we were constantly on the go.  Add to the mix a sweet 4 and 2 year old that lacked attention (lack of attention does not mix well with their personalities), and some crazy fun car and money stress, and you have the makings for what could have potentially been an epic mental breakdown on my part :)  I could have easily used an extra 12 hours in each day if I was feeling well, so with me feeling like garbage, making it to 9pm every day felt like a major accomplishment :)

As I was sitting in one of Aeden's therapy sessions last week, I was near tears as the therapist asked me to describe some of what our family has been facing.   It was a little bit of a downer having to put it all out there, but in a way it felt good to talk about it too.   I know we certainly don't have it harder than anyone else, and I've been grateful for little glimpses I've had into other people's trials during this time to help me regain some perspective.  Perspective is so key in positively handling your stuff I've found.

Another key element to handling it is faith.  We're promised we won't be given more than we can handle, right?!  We're promised if we pay our tithing the blessings will pour out greater than our capacity to receive them.  In short, we're promised it will all be okay. Not perfect, not problem free, not stress free, but okay.  I have been clinging to those promises these past several weeks.  I am grateful I grew up in a home where I was taught the principle of faith and how to develop and nurture it, so that when the time came (like now) where I needed it, I had already begun the process of helping it grow so I didn't need to start at ground zero.

So anyways, back to my perspective (which was pretty crappy if I'm being honest), I forced myself to get thinking...again...about how blessed I have really been.  A little 'glad game' if you will.  This sickness really could have had me down flat in bed for weeks.  And yet I haven't missed one single day.  I may not have been pleasant to be around, but I've been able to do what I had to do.  I've been enabled beyond my own abilities and limits.  I know that enabling power came from the gift and power of the Atonement, and I am so grateful.

We have also been served in many, many ways.  When I wrote this post initially, I tried to list them all, but it quickly became impossible.  People are so good.   Here are a  just a few of them...

Our hometeachers spent the better part of a Saturday helping us get our yard ready for winter.  I couldn't have gotten that much done if I had spent all day every day for a week working.

An wonderful friend out of the blue offered to pay for my kids' piano lessons so they could start up their lessons again.  Stopping piano a few months ago was a source of so much guilt, and I had never told anyone but maybe Bryan how I felt.  So her calling was a tender mercy from my Heavenly Father.  

Bryan's mom was so gracious and agreed to start giving Liah sewing lessons!  This has been so good for Liah, not just because of the sewing, but because she loves having time each week with her grandma.  I know it will be a precious memory she'll carry her entire life.

Another good friend won tickets to this weekend's BYU vs. Oregon State game, and gave the tickets to Bryan and Zerin.  They both had so much fun!

Another good friend arranged for me to take Bryan in November to Midway for a weekend AND to watch my  brood.  Bryan had said a few days earlier that he had finally thought of something he would like to do (go somewhere to spend the weekend together sans kids).  So that made it an even more timely and perfect surprise.

My kids have great counselor's and doctors.  The timing behind starting therapy and getting to the bottom of some of their individual struggles has been nothing short of divine intervention.  I am so grateful for the good, talented, and kindhearted individuals who are working with my kids to help them be amazing in spite of some of their challenges.

...and that isn't even all of it.  I feel like through the love and kindness of others, I have been carried.  I have been given constant reminders that we're being watched over, and knowing you're not alone is sometimes all you need.

General Conference last weekend was another blessing and answer to my prayers.  I felt like Heavenly Father gave me a very clear blueprint of exactly what I need to do in the midst of our circumstances to not just survive, but thrive during this time.  One of my favorite quotes was this one by Elder Holland....

It's funny how even when you feel completely burdened down by so much to do,

the answer often times is more work :)