i.am {thankful}.

gospel.  I cannot even describe how grateful I am for the knowledge I have that this life is just a small part.  I'm grateful to know and feel that my Heavenly Father loves me.  I know I am happiest when I am doing my best to do what He asks of me.

bryan.  After 11 1/2+ years, being married to Bryan feels more like having part of my body wandering outside of itself.  I don't think there is another person in this world who could simultaneously take care of me and yet allow me to be my independent (and sometimes frustrating) self.  He is my best friend, and I am so beyond blessed to have him.


children.  I know I have been blessed far beyond anything I deserve in this department.  I have the most wonderful kids I could have ever asked for.  They make me smile and giggle ten times more than they make me cry...that's a great ratio if you ask me :)  I don't particularly like saying "I'm proud of my kids" because I feel like it sounds like I'm taking credit for their awesomeness.  But I completely embrace the saying "I have joy in my children."  They are my joy.  I love seeing their successes.  I love seeing them soak up life.  I love seeing them overcome weaknesses, and make the best out of disappointments.  I love watching them play together.  I have to occasionally work at remembering that when their play gets carried away. :)

food.  I'm not gonna lie, I love food.  I don't necessarily love making said food, but I have been proud of myself for making a bigger effort this year.  It's one of the few New Year's Resolutions I did in January that I can actually say I really have accomplished.  I feel so grateful that we have been able to feed our family well, at a time when many don't enjoy that luxury.  And I'm grateful for a husband who is an amazing cook who takes the burden and fear out of Thanksgiving for me by doing lots (if not all) of the baking.  


shelter.  I love our little home.  Not too long ago I found myself whining about some of it's frustrating idiosyncracies.  As I heard the words dribble out of my mouth, I started to remember some of the incredible circumstances that brought us here, and how right it felt (and feels).  I remember looking out the window this summer from the cool comfort of my couch when it was so hot outside.   I was so pregnant and just kept saying "thank you" that I had air conditioning.  I thought of that giddy feeling I had when I hung our Christmas lights for the first time and it just looked so cute :)  I thought about the bliss I felt Sunday night when we were all snuggled together watching a movie.  I remembered the giggles and shrieks from the kitchen the other night when Bryan was baking with the kids.  He kept singing to them and they were begging him to stop :)  As my friend Patricia reminded me this week, those are the things that make a house a home, and I love my home.

health.  We have so much to be grateful for in this department.  I'm embarrassed to say that less than a few short months ago, I didn't think we did.  But as I have had the opportunity to watch some dear family members and friends struggle with some terrible health challenges, it has made me realize how blessed we really are.  I have enjoyed feeling more like myself since having the baby, it's been GREAT!  Our kids have enjoyed many healthy days.  Bryan has been able to do a lot and work above how he has been feeling, and I know that is an enormous blessing.  Not that there would be anything wrong with it, but I know just giving in and going on disability would be much easier, but that's never been an option for him.  He has a gift for hiding how he feels...something I don't yet have a knack for ;)  Even though I think he hurts more than he did a year ago, I don't feel panic-stricken and fearful, and neither does he.  Some may call it acceptance.  Knowing my personality though, I call it a major huge blessing.



family.  We have a big, wonderful family.


We each have mothers that are incredibly supportive and loving, and would do anything for us.  For example, within one week each mom graciously donated her old cell phone to me because I managed to wash not one, but two cell phones within 10 days of each other.  Two.  In  the washing machine.  With water.  No amount of rice in the world could save them unfortunately.  I digress.

We each have siblings that are great aunts and uncles to our kids and make family gatherings like something out of the movies.  Granted, sometimes the movie is the dinner scene out of 'While You Were Sleeping' rather than 'Leave it to Beaver' but I wouldn't have it any other way :)  Besides, June Cleaver, I am not (although I love her dresses) :)

It's becoming common knowledge that I have the greatest, cutest, funnest, and most wonderful 13 nieces and nephews in the whole world!  Being an aunt is a lot of fun...I'm looking to having it be even MORE fun if I can get my act together with my own kids.  There's so much I want to do with and for them all that the time and energy level of a mom of 6 does not seem to be cohesive with...go figure :)     I love Jonathan - Aiden - Laken - Hyrum - Adam - David - Daniel - Connor - Orson - Tensley - Adelaide - Kade - & Cardon. :)

Between the two of us, we have 22 living aunts and uncles, and I won't even attempt to count all the cousins.  I feel grateful for aunts that go out of their way to include me and my family and to keep tabs on us.  I love my cousins.  I love how we always pick up right where we left off when we see each other, and I love that I have facebook so we can stay in touch when it would otherwise be pretty difficult.  I love that some of my cousins feel more like siblings, and I am so grateful to have them in my life.

imperfection.  I am grateful for our couches.  To others they appear more than well-worn, but to me, they represent endless hours of learning by my children... bedtimes stories, scripture study, family nights, forts, infamous lectures of not to eating, coloring or jumping on them...lots of teaching moments have happened on those tattered things.  They have earned their scars.

I am so glad for our two cars.  Before the Honda was stolen, I was whining that we couldn't all fit safely into one vehicle.  But I have since realized how literally over-the-top blessed we are to be able to cart that many people around at all...and not to mention the incredibly big blessing that we even have that many people to cart around.

I am grateful for our dogs.  I know they are supposed to be part of our family, and that we can love them and help them in a way no one else can.  They help us too.  The other day Bryan was having a bad night, and Alex just came in and curled up next to him.  They just have this sense when something is off, I don't know how they know it but they just do.  That love that we have for them has been very useful as we have had to clean our carpets 3 times in the last 3 weeks because of them.  When we cleaned the carpets the first time, Alex and his separation issues found it necessary to re-mark his territory in an OCD -like fashion...grrr.  Shadeau's little adventure, as well as the colder weather have caused some nice issues with her as well.    But no matter, it makes me grateful for my carpet cleaner :)

I am just grateful and glad that life hasn't gone the way I planned.  Though perhaps more well-funded, I know my plan wouldn't have been nearly as rich as the one I'm living.  I'm grateful for struggles and situations that have pushed me past the point I thought I could go.  I'm grateful for making mistakes....lots and lots of mistakes....because it makes doing the right thing feel so much better.  I'm grateful for the occasional 'lacks' because they make the 'havings' so much better.  i {love} my life.