On being a project, and how I have learned to only half-way listen to my doctor :)

I love me a good service project.  I love the feeling of losing yourself in caring for someone else.  I love feeling like I'm making a difference.   I should be more specific...I love DOING service projects...I kind of despise BEING one :)  But that seems to be the lesson this year, so I'm doing what I can to make peace with my role for now.

Even going back a few months, people were so good to us at Christmas, it was very humbling.  And then there are all of the wonderful sweet things that friends and family would randomly do in the block of time after that.  There have been anonymous gift cards, and treats.  There was the yard and house cleanup Bryan's coworkers did for us.  It's such a long list.

My mom in law and sis in law, Marne,  have been keeping a watchful eye and have been jumping in at a moment's notice when I've needed them.  Who knew changing the diaper of an unwilling 21 month old could be so painful?! :)  I think Marne has now officially earned the right to have children whose poop smells delightful after all of the foul disgustingness she has been forced to deal with from Belen :)  It's amazing that someone so cute can smell so so bad.

At the cabin this week, my sis in law Danelle bent over backwards to make sure I didn't raise a finger to help...although I may have accidentally snuck in the kitchen a few times to help clean....I am just not the sitting type, I was losing my mind! :)

In spite of everything, Bryan has been so sweet during his time off to keep offering to take the kids to various activities and things, including all of our beloved 4th of July activities.  It's finally getting to the point where it would be extremely tempting to take him up on that offer.  But I figure I can feel like this at home, or I can feel like this while watching my kids have a blast...and what's a little embarrassment, right?  But just knowing how he's feeling and knowing he would do that for me just makes me feel all squishy inside :)  He's wonderful.

Yesterday, my mom came and organized my dreaded junk drawer in my kitchen that has been over a year in the making...yeah, it was pretty bad.  She then organized our bathroom...another gargantuan task.  It felt so nice to have those two things taken care of, thanks Mom!  I don't know of many people who would come and spend over 4 hours doing that kind of boringness...she's so good to me :)

Yesterday we also went to the rec center with Dallin & Sarah (Bryan's brother and his wife) and their kids.   Bryan stayed home with Belen, which can I just say, taking kids swimming is pretty fun without a 21 month old ;)  And Dallin was my hero in that he patrolled the waters a little more hands on so I could sit in the shade with Sarah to watch the kids.    It was so nice to just sit and watch them play and not feel like I had to worry very much.

So I guess what I'm saying is that all of these little evidences point to the fact that I have indeed become a project.  ***SIGH***  Hopefully this phase of my life will be a short one, because I far prefer being on the other side of the fence, but it has brought some new understanding on how better to give so as not to make people feel so conspicuous in their low points of life, and for that I'm grateful.

A very flattering picture of me at 35 weeks.  Oh the sarchasm....

Changing subjects, yesterday also came the first in my lovely weekly dr. appointments.  After 6 kids, I am FINALLY becoming one with what to expect from these mini-adventures.  

This is my pattern:

• About 6-8 weeks out, the doctor's eyes get really big, and he warns me my baby is going to be over 10 lbs.  I then proceed to panic.  
• At my next appointment, the baby drops, so she measures the same if not lower (last week when he measured, she was 6 oz smaller than the visit 2 weeks earlier), and he forgets he ever gave me such foreboding news.  
• And then at my next visit (yesterday), she measures a pound bigger than the last week (6 1/2 lbs), but he guesstimates she'll only be around 9 lbs rather than the 10 he had previously warned me about.  He even uses wonderful phrases like, "She wouldn't be that big even if you went a few days late."  Love that.  Actually, if we do get induced, we'll get to test his theory because we wouldn't be able to schedule an elective induction until around the 5th.  My doctor will be out most of the week before that, and Bryan has a conference his new school wants him to attend, so if our pattern holds true, which you never know, we'll plan on her coming about 4 or 5 days later than my due date of the 1st.

As far as if I'm doing 'anything,' that has a funny answer.  On my first 2 or even 3 kids, after the news I got yesterday, I would have run home to pack the bags waiting for my water to break.  But after realizing with Asher and Belen that my body can stay quite dialated and effaced for over 3 weeks and do absolutely nothing (we're talking a 3 to 5+ at 80+%), I have come to realize the numbers don't mean much when it comes to my body.  I'm barely dialated at all...not even quite a 1 and 50% effaced.  So, without being induced, I figure I should have this baby sometime in September ;)