I'll be honest, I feel grateful for a great many things, however, it is hard for me to express that gratitude to my Heavenly Father when I'm feeling like this. The act of expressing that gratitude feels like I'm letting the draw bridge down so the opposing army can overrun my castle. Expressing gratitude makes me vulnerable. Expressing gratitude means I have to feel, instead of being indifferent. Indifference is my weapon of choice...if I don't care, it doesn't hurt. So now I have a choice...follow this counsel and open myself up to some emotions I'm not sure that I want to deal with, or stay the course and just keep on keeping on, in a state of numbness.
If I were to make a short list of my greatest blessings, it would go something like this...
Bryan - my children - the Gospel - the Atonement - my home - good family and friends - good teeth - Pledge dusting spray - a good garden rake - flowers - living close to a Little Caeser's Pizza - etc. :)
3 comments:
Man, I wish we had a Little Caesar's close by. The answers don't come when we want them to, but the tender mercies come when we need them. If we got answers right when we wanted them it would be way too easy and enduring to the end wouldn't be much work. Just think, "Mansions in Heaven, no illnesses, and lots of lawn."
All I know is when I die, if one of the first faces I see is yours, I'll know I'm in the right place. So go easy on yourself.
I guess you are getting the Chris AND Laura special. ;) I would say be grateful and let in some of the joy because you deserve it BUT denial/numbness/indifference what ever you call it is a real valid coping mechanism. When things get hard that's our body's way of protecting ourselves so that we can deal with life one bit at a time. I second my better half: go easy on yourself!
-Laura
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