How exactly do you do that?

So I was talking to my cousin the other day. She's my age, has 3 beautiful little kids, and was diagnosed last year with MS. Let me just say, she is seriously, and has always been my hero. She's softspoken and meek, my polar opposite. She is the most amazing cook ever...she taught me to make freezer jam. She can sew anything....she whipped out a whole outfit for her daughter in less than 2 hours, and it looked like something you could buy in the store. Seriously, she's amazing. So needless to say, this disease has drastically changed her routine, her way of life, pretty much everything.

I was asking her how she could possibly go from being SO productive, and go-go-go all the time, to having to play each day totally by ear depending on how she feels...and to be okay with it. She's not wordy like me, so her answer was pretty simple. On the days I can accomplish something, I'm grateful, grateful, grateful. She was telling me she can never set the goal to walk her kids to school every day in a week. But on the days she wakes up and is well enough to walk them, she is ever so grateful.

Though our situations are different, it made me realize how grateful is one thing I really haven't been. I begrudge and moan, internally if nothing else, the days that Bryan is stuck in bed, on edge because of the pain, or just down because it keeps getting worse. And then I have the nerve to get disappointed and irritated on the days he feels decent that we don't accomplish more. It's like I have this massive internal to-do list with a big flashing deadline across it...and every day he gets worse I freak out more, because dang it, my list isn't done!!! My ever-expanding body doesn't simplify the matter either, because then I think, I can't do THAT, I can't do THAT, I can't do THAT. Grrr. Oh to be one of those amazing hard core pioneer women that worked in the fields, sat in the corn row, had the baby, and then went about their day. Okay, not really, but I really could use some of that strength right now. I digress....

So my point is that, my cousin made me realize how my attitude has got to change here and now. Gone, has to be, the frustration over what isn't done. That's part of the reason I want to do the open house next week, because it doesn't matter. I doubt most people will care that my banister has only been sanded and stained once, rather than the 3 times I set out to do. It will be fun to share a little of the history of this cool old house, and show off how flashy we aren't ;)

If the world was my weight watcher's group, and my attitude was my weight problem, everyone now knows how "fat" I really am, so maybe some guilt-ridden accountability will be just what the doctor ordered. Future entries in this blog may be more obscure than others, but hopefully, some new found gratitude will shine through in each post. So day one, here's what I'm grateful for:

He is going to help his brother put in a new floor today, and he is so excited about it...seriously! They asked him months ago to help with this, and it is finally ready to install. He has been looking forward to this weekend for a while, so I'm so glad things worked out and he's in a position to do it.

Now, tomorrow is Sunday...my nemesis of the week. So if I skip posting tomorrow...you'll just have to understand ;)